Mom would have been 90 years old today. She left us in 1983 -- so long ago! As I think of the many things she gave me, one important gift was the early experience of losing someone that I loved. These days, I see so many friends caring for aging parents and realize (both with sadness and relief) that I won't have that same experience. But I think that Mom's death when she was 48 gave me the skills I have needed to walk with others toward and through their deaths. (I give thanks for the opportunity to journey with Edgehill saints - Mae, Daisy, Linda, Lloyd, and Dave.)
And isn't it true what Ram Dass said? "We're all just walking each other home."
A good friend recently gave me a long-lost letter to me from my dad, dated December 11, 1984. It was the year after mom had died. And it was the first time I wasn't going home to Oklahoma for Christmas. That year I went to visit family in Iowa.
Earlier in 1984, Dad and I had both been at General Conference in Baltimore, MD. He was there as a delegate. I was there in my role with Affirmation, United Methodists for Gay and Lesbian Concerns (as it was called at that time). We had launched the Reconciling Congregation Program after the harmful vote during the second week of General Conference.
I remember Dad coming by our Affirmation/Reconciling office on Sunday. He told me a story about something that had happened in one of his Oklahoma delegation meetings before they got to Baltimore. The group had been discussing the issues that were to come up at general conference. One of the delegation leaders had mentioned "homosexuals and rapists" in his speech. And my dad confronted him -- told him that was not appropriate. I think back, now, about how important it was to me that dad had stood up for me and my people.
Dad's letter from 1984 contained these treasured words. He said, "Last night I finally got around to listening to your tape of the Reconciling Congregation Service. It must have been a very moving service. I was very interested in your summary of Affirmation's history and ministry and in your reflections on the last General Conference. You did a super job. It made me proud of you and more appreciative of the mission God has given you."
What an amazing and wonderful affirmation, 40 years later, that dad saw me and the work God called me to do. I'm so grateful!
So, on this day, Mom and Dad, I thank both of you. Perhaps today you are meeting up at a heavenly coffee shop and having a piece of pie to celebrate Mom's earthly birthday. Peeking in on all your descendants and admiring the way they all exist in the world. I love you and I'm so grateful for all the gifts you gave me.
Love, Beth
*My daily practice these days is to draw a card from my SoulCollage® deck and journal about it. I made this card for my mom, Margaret Elizabeth Wilson Richardson. It resides in my Community Suit.
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