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All the Wonders

  • betharichardson

Who Are Your Shepherds?

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." - Psalm 23:1, NRSV I wonder -- Who are your shepherds? My dad -- Charles Richardson -- is one of my shepherds. I grew up watching him every Sunday morning as he led worship in little Methodist churches in Oklahoma. Because of him, I wanted to work in the church. Dad gave me many gifts--love of nature, music and photography. When I was ordained, he was here to lay hands on me in the ordination service. Now he's walking through the shades of death ... the disease of Alzheimer's. Every day, his world shrinks just a little bit more. When I was with him two months ago, we sat and ate dinner with my brother and Anna, my step mom. Dad said to me, "So, tell me where you have lived." I answered, "Well, I was born in Norman, you know, and then we moved to Mooreland." Dad said, "Oh, I did a stint there in Mooreland. What's your last name?" "It's Richardson," I said. (My heart was getting heavy.) "Well," he exclaimed, "My last name is Richardson! Who's your daddy?" I said, "You're my dad! I'm your daughter, Beth." He turned and looked at Anna and she nodded to him and said, "That's Beth. She's your daughter." He looked a little uncertain, and then he stood up, opened his arms to me and said, "I need to give you a hug." I stood up and we hugged -- a good, long embrace. We sat back down at the table and he listened as I told him about myself: how I had been to seminary, was ordained in the United Methodist Church, worked at The Upper Room, had written a couple of books. He was delighted to know who I have become. Our dinner conversation turned to other things, and then he turned to me and asked, "Do you know my daughter?"  And I said, "Yeah. Isn't she great?" As the rest of us chuckled, he looked at me closely and said, "Oh. You're her, aren't you?" ... I know there are so many like him -- wandering through dark valleys of illness or depression or struggle. My dad's shepherd is his wife. He is tethered to life through her presence. But there will soon come a time when he doesn't know her as his wife. And he will depend on shepherds who will care for him even though he may not know who they are. It's heartbreaking to think of him in this way, and I trust that God, the great shepherd, will tether his heart in love. That "goodness and love will pursue him every day of his life." I need shepherds to guide me through these days of the loss of my Dad. I need to know and trust that he will have shepherds who will take good care of him. And I want to watch for opportunities to be a shepherd to others -- to serve, to love, to witness to goodness, to give comfort, to nurture hope. The sure provisions of my God attend me all my days; O may your house be my abode, and all my work be praise! There would I find a settled rest (while others go and come), no more a stranger nor a guest; but like a child at home. - "Psalm 23 (My Shepherd, You Supply My Need)"

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